Revelations of a Phone
by yatta biscuit
Summary: Trunks is up to no good and Vegeta has to lay some fatherly smackdown. BOOYA!


**Revelations of a Phone**  
  
Wood splinters flew through the air in the Capsule Corp. living room. 'If that woman hadn't made that damn chamber so sensitive then she wouldn't have to fix it so often,' Vegeta thought. 'Is it too much to ask to make a space ship with a gravity simulator and kitchen that's able to withstand a nuclear explosion? It isn't my fault that I was forced to improvise punching bags.' Looking about the new furnitureless room, the Saiyan walked over to the last remaining table. "Wouldn't make sense to leave survivors," he said while glaring down at the small coffee table. A red light on the doomed table caught his attention, the words "line in use" printed below the light informed him of its purpose. "Hmm," the realization that he might actually have some fun caused him to smirk. He picked up the phone and covered the receiver with his hand. His thought was to wait till the most inappropriate time to announce his existence. "Mmm..yes, that feels good..."  
  
'That isn't one of my brats,' he thought.  
  
"Well you're going to get more of that."  
  
'That was Trunks,' the Saiyan pondered, 'but how did that little rat boy get a woman? Especially one as brain dead as to actually describe sex over the phone?' Vegeta's face changed from a smirk to a grin. Hanging up the phone he made his way quietly over to Trunks' room. Suppressing his ki, he brought his ear to the door. "And then I put my hands on-" Vegeta had heard enough. He slammed open the door, and Trunks dropped the phone in surprise. He scrambled over to hit the talk button, but only got the back of his father's hand. "What are you doing in here, brat?" asked Vegeta.  
  
"Ahh..um..I'm, uh..doing home work, yeah.." Trunks replied. The sound of loud moans filled the silence in their conversation. Savoring every minute of this, Vegeta slowly brought his eyes down to the phone.  
  
"Uhh..yeah, she was just helping me with my speech class."  
  
"What are you studying?" the Saiyan asked, looking down at his flustered son.  
  
"The..uhh..the way the voice changes pitch while having sex...?" Trunks regretted the words as soon as he said them.  
  
"So your school encourages the students to have sex?"  
  
"No, no, no, no, no!" trunks spat out quickly, "We just need the voice..no actual sex needs to be involved." He smacked his forehead, 'Come on Trunks, pull it together!'  
  
"How can you study the pitch change of sex while just pretending to have sex? That wouldn't make the pitch change all your doing is reading from a script."  
  
"Uhh..well.."  
  
Vegeta, thinking only to make the situation worse, brought the phone up to his ear. Trunks' jaw dropped. 'Mission completed,' Vegeta thought. "Your free sixty seconds are up. If you want to explore my labyrinth, I'll need a credit card number." Vegeta stared down at his son who was looking everywhere but at him. "Excuse me, are you a whore?" Vegeta asked politely.  
  
"Your free sixty seconds are up. If you want to explore my labyrinth, I'll need a credit card number."  
  
"It's a recording," Vegeta brought the phone away from his ear. "So, in what part of your homework are you required to listen to a whore over the phone?"  
  
"I, uhh.."  
  
"Hey, don't go into detail! I don't care how you get your jollys. But this was a whore, right?"  
  
Trunks gave a small nod.  
  
"Well, you see, that means we have a problem."  
  
Trunks remained silent.  
  
"Now I will have to teach you not to go to whores!"  
  
Trunks looked up in confusion. "What are you going to do to me, papa?" Trunks asked in a weak voice.  
  
"Hold on a sec. Let me get the downstairs phone. It's better suited for this."  
  
'Oh geez, I really messed up this time,' Trunks thought after his father had left the room. 'I wonder what dad is going to do with that phone. Maybe he'll beat me with it, or maybe he'll make me call all of my friends and tell them what I did.' Trunks' mental mutilation was cut short by his father slamming open his door again.  
  
"Are you ready for the pain?"  
  
'Take it like a man, Trunks! Show no fear! ..oh god...!'  
  
Vegeta sat down and plugged in the new phone, "Now I want you to call back that whore."  
  
"...dad?"  
  
"You are going to call her back and have phone sex in front of me. You will do this until I say you are done."  
  
An escape route appeared, "But dad, that certain number costs money and we would need mom's credit card to do it." Trunks gave himself a mental pat on the back.  
  
"No prob," Vegeta said, holding a piece of plastic between his index and middle fingers. "Your mother will be preoccupied with my training capsule and the living room for a while. So we should have plenty of time to teach you this lesson. By the way, how did you hear of this company?" Vegeta asked.  
  
'Oh god,' Trunks' face paled, 'Don't even try to lie! You know he will ask a million questions and you couldn't even handle the four questions about what you were doing in your room..' He stood up and lifted a corner of the mattress. Without a word, he handed the magazine to his father. "Oh. It's a...what do they call it? A promo?"  
  
"A porno," the half-Saiyan whispered.  
  
"Oh, yes," he opened it and started flipping through it. "Not bad..has some good articles and how to diagrams."  
  
"What?? You're not mad at me because of the porno, but you are of the phone sex!? You're such a hypocrite!"  
  
"Boy! This magazine offers the informational and humorous aspects of sex. Your fling with the phone offers nothing to you. It is natural to be curious and want to learn more, but a whore will give you nothing but pain when you piss."  
  
Trunks blinked, 'Some of what he said makes sense. I guess I don't know dad that well.'  
  
"Now dial."  
  
"Oh." Trunks flipped to page thirty seven and dialed the number printed there.  
  
3 days later...  
  
Bulma stalked around the house like a cat looking for its prey. "Vegeta!" she yelled.  
  
"Woman?" came a response from upstairs. She stomped on every step to stress the point that she was pissed off.  
  
"Vegeta!" she yelled again.  
  
"Woman!"  
  
It was coming from Trunks' room, 'What is doing to my baby?' She slammed open the door. "What's going on in here!?" she yelled.  
  
"Punishment," Vegeta said curtly.  
  
"Dad..I'm tired! I wanna go to bed! Please, I'll never do it again! I swear!!" Trunks pleaded. Trunks lying down, spread out on his bed, and Vegeta rocking back and forth on the hind legs of a chair.  
  
"Huh?" Bulma said, looking at both of them for an answer.  
  
"Your credit card is maxxed out. If you want to explore my labyrinth, I'll need a credit card number."  
  
"Now you may rest," Vegeta said. He stood up to leave and motioned for Bulma to leave with him.  
  
"What's going on here?" she asked again.  
  
"I'm being a good father." 


End file.
